Monday, May 2, 2011

The Hefty Hipster's Guide To Gift Giving

People assume that hipsters lead this laid back devil-may-care existence--not knowing or caring what other people think about them.


This is patently untrue. Especially as it pertains to gift-giving.


Hipsters are under an enormous amount of pressure to produce a gift that is at once personal, awesome, and so astoundingly unique/bizarre/puzzling it will never be duplicated by anybody else.


The moment I created this handpainted tortilla warmer for my snooty English Professor's 35th wedding anniversary I knew it was sure to take its rightful place nestled in the flannel clouds in the upper echelons of Hipster Gift-Giving Heaven.


Behold!


A Tortilla Warmer that simultaneously warms your heart and your floury Mexican dinner accomplices.



Que Romantico, no?



If Shakespeare had been Mexican he would have composed all his greatest sonnets upon the face of a tortilla. And then we would have nothing left of him today because he'd get hungry, roll it up and eat his words.....




Homophone Alert! You need to be very specific when ordering a flour/flower tortilla as you're getting your Mexi nom noms on. Unless, of course, you prefer the combo flour flower tortilla.


I'm going to start shellacking these babies then string them up on hardened Mexican noodles. Personalized BEST FRIEND Tortilla Necklaces............So Then You Can Eat Your Best Friend Necklace Instead Of Your Best Friend Should A Donner Party Disaster Ever Happen To You.


Love.....it's in the air. And on a tortilla.

I'm working on a line of Tortilla Lingerie for the next anniversary gift I give. Poke a hole in the middle and voila! Peek-A-Boo Tortilla Brassiere.

Really, there are no limitations to tortilla gift giving possibilities.

11 comments:

Carrot Jello

I'm having Deja Vu.

I'm your first commenter, AND first follower. There's gotta be a prize for that.
A hand painted tortilla, perhaps?

Carrot Jello

W.V. from the last comment?
"Proli"

Like, "You're proli gonna get a hand painted tortilla after this comment."

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY

Carrot Jello, let's hang out in our obscure band concert t-shirts and be ironic together!!!

Carrot Jello

Cool!
Wait...I don't own an obscure band concert t-shirt. In fifth grade, they made me be in orchestra, so all I got was a lousy orchestra concert blouse.
I always wanted to have a band concert t-shirt.
*sniff*

"Chinook Eagles Band Concert - Chinook Elementary School Gym Tour 1981"

I'm gonna have one made up. Asap.

Oh yeah baby, I was an Eagle.
Jealous much?

Carrot Jello

Dang.
I should have said, "I flew with the Eagles..."

Missed that one.

Carrot Jello

But then I caught it in the outfield, and threw it back in sucka!

I should have tried out for the baseball team.

Sister Pottymouth

My friend once caught a sweat-soaked T-shirt thrown to the audience at a Duran Duran concert. Does that count?

I proli won't get a hand painted tortilla. But thanks for thinking of me anyway. :-)

Jami

Flour/flower tortilla--I get it!

Jami

WV=dumbrawe. Who needs a dumbrawe anyhow? Let's burn 'em!

Elizabeth-W

Late to the party....
So, is the other blog still going to be going?

b.

I would totally wear a tortilla thong!
Whip me one up, would ya?

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