Thursday, May 12, 2011

Caught Up In The Raptor Of Love

My Papi and I have both have distinctive accents.
Mine is of an unremarkable milquetoast, plain Jane, white cracker, hooligans at the Dog & Suds drive-thru, Mid-Westerner variety.
My Papi, however, possesses the super suave sexy-Mexi accent that's the stuff of legendary cinematic Latino lovers.
Most of the time we do speak the same language.......although it's not always the language of love.
On occasion our vastly different accents do interfere with the smooth process of communication.

Why, just the other day while standing in the kitchen I began teasing Papi because moments prior I nearly toppled him over as I bumrushed in with tremendous effort just to score the very last Kit Kat candy bar out of the candy bucket.
Yeah, most people have a candy dish. We have a candy bucket. What of it?
So then, Papi narrowed his gorgeous coppery eyes at me and bitterly said, "Girlie, you will be so sorry when the biblical RAPTOR comes and takes me away, and you'll be left behind all alone."
I began laughing uncontrollably. I mean, who's to say I didn't use Papi as bait so that I myself could escape the hungry clutches of this oncoming RAPTOR?
I won't really feel sorry when the RAPTOR comes and leaves me behind. Nope, not at all.

Which leads me to wonder about super sensual soul singer, Anita Baker. She must have experienced a much different RAPTOR than the ferocious, sharp clawed prehistoric beast that Jurassic Park introduced us to in the 90's, because she even wrote a touching sentimental song professing her unflagging amore for all things RAPTOR.
Yes, Anita has found herself "caught up in the RAPTOR of love," and she says that nothing else can compare.
The RAPTOR of Love reportedly beat out both The Gangster of Love and the space cowboy to win the affections of Miss Baker.
I wish them much happiness together.
I'll be sure to send an economy sized package of Band Aids for their wedding present, because sometimes, love hurts.


Carrot Jello

It won't be long now. I heard the raptors coming to get you on May 21.
I also heard that love stinks, so along with band-aids, you might want to send nose plugs too.

Carrot Jello

I forgot an apostrophe. meh.


Love the new blog I'm bookmarking you right now on my iPad.


I'm going to have a grandiose 37th birthday party.

It's a Raptor/Rapture Theme. Everybody who's invited can drop off a really expensive gift and then randomly disappear.

Or get too close to the party bowl with my fire lime Cheetos and be chased out by me wearing my pimpster Jurassic Raptor gear.


Just kidding. We're all going to dress up as dinosaurs and chase innocent skaters at the skating rink.


Just kidding. We're actually going to go to a beauty salon in the raptor costumes and get a makeover so we'll be "raptorous."

Carrot Jello

You're such a kidder.

Carrot Jello

O.k., time to blog again. I'm tired of singing, "oo-ooo-oo-oo-oo-oooh caught up in the raptor of love"

Jean Knee

so.. Hipster

I got here too late for the raptor that didn't happen. There's always October to look forward to

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